And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
