This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize