No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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