i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
