But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
