Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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