Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
