I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
