two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
