Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
