Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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