suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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