come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Randomize
