I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
