You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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