i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
