If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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