i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
