i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
