small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Randomize
