I faked an abortion last night.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Just pee around me
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
