you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
