i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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