Me too!
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize