And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
