i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
