omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
