I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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