would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Randomize
