Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
