I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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