he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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