sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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