I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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