All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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