so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
