Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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