Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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