Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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