i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I got her a Nickelback box set.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize