Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
