your thong is hanging out like whoa
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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