This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
