Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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