did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
We need to rekindle our bromance
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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