i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
we should paint friendship bongs
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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