I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
