Sponge bath it is.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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