tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Randomize
