I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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