And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
