so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
