I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
