Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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