actually, I'm a sock model
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
