Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
