how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
