i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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