This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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