did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
