Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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