is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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