I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
