do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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