i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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