you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
