He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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