After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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